Source: WellandGood.com, by Jessica Estrada
Whether we realize it or not, our level of self-esteem affects every area of our lives including how we view ourselves, our relationships, and even our careers. Terri Cole, a licensed psychotherapist and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, defines self-esteem as “how you experience yourself and your value from the inside out or subjectively.” And the benefits of having a healthy self-esteem are many. If you’re not sure where yours is, taking a self-esteem test can help you figure out where you fall.
A high level of self-esteem, Cole says, means you’re less likely to tolerate people treating you poorly, and it provides courage to take risks and go after the things you really want in life. And, she adds, you also know that you are resourceful, resilient, and feel confident making decisions for yourself, even if others disapprove.
Low self-esteem, on the other hand, can negatively impact all areas of life “because it equates to having feelings of low self-worth and a negative or fraught relationship with yourself,” Cole says. “Your relationship with yourself sets the bar for every other relationship in your life.” Meaning, if you think poorly of yourself and treat yourself as unworthy, others will inevitably reflect that back to you and treat you accordingly, which can create a lot of pain and suffering.
Regardless of where you land on the self-esteem spectrum, self-esteem is something we can all work on improving. Below, Cole offers three tips to help raise self-esteem. But first, she shares how to test your level of self-esteem to better understand your baseline.
How to test your level of self-esteem
Becoming aware of your self-esteem patterns is one way to determine whether you have a low or healthy level of self-esteem. Signs of low self-esteem include not valuing your own thoughts, opinions, or ideas or knowing your inherent value and worth, Cole says. You may also constantly worry or fear that you are not good enough and seek validation from external sources. Cole says signs of a healthy self-esteem include having self-respect, feeling good about yourself, as well as knowing your preferences, limits, and non-negotiables and communicating them with others.
Another way Cole recommends testing is by getting honest with yourself and asking yourself a few questions such as: Do you genuinely like yourself? Are you aware of your unique gifts and talents? Can you list qualities you love about yourself? And do you feel worthy of love, attention, respect, and kindness? The more you respond yes to these questions, the higher your self-esteem.
Still not sure? You can also take this short self-esteem test from Psychology Today, which helps you evaluate.
After finishing this test you will receive a FREE snapshot report with a summary evaluation and graph. You will then have the option to purchase the full results (from Psychology Today for $6.95)
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